It was a beautiful Spring day. May 23, 2009 to be specific. Roland
pulled his 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis into the first parking space right
against the door of Montgomery Ward in Turfland Mall. "This place looks
different," he thought to himself. "Why is there a Home Depot sign and
orange everywhere?" He locked his doors with his newly installed keyless
entry system. "That'll impress the ladies," he smirked.
He stared down at his bright white Reeboks as he strutted through the door of his favorite
department store in search of a new maroon turtleneck. "What the ...?" he
exclaimed. "Building materials?!!" He ran back outside, confused,
dismayed. He sprinted toward the main mall entrance. The doors were
locked. "What has happened to my favorite spot to score some of the
finest offerings of the female species?" he said aloud. As he walked
slowly back to his car, he realized the lot was now full of cars. "Where
could all these people be going?" he wondered.
He decided to walk behind them. They walked and walked, as if drawn by a magnetic force.
Gradually, an appealing aroma filled the air. "Is that...could it be?"
Redneck sushi! The smell came from Witchita drive, and every vacant lot
on Harrodsburg road was full of cars driven by people hoping to get into
the legendary Memorial Day Event. Roland could hardly believe his eyes or
ears as he finally came within a half a block of the place. "That's Mark
Mayes himself!" he exclaimed. "And Chicken Harmon! Nutz Devine?! This
is like a dream!"
Suddenly, the shrill sound of Eric Baker's guitar filled the air. It was the opening chords to "I Don't Know Much, But I Know I Love You", originally made popular by Aaron Neville and Linda
Ronstadt. Drums, bass, and a second guitar followed. Roland fell to his
knees and mouthed the words, "Thank You!"
The Non-Filters
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