Breaking News: Media Put Its Collective Penis Into Karen Sypher

Ummm........a reach-around on Yao Ming? Bingo!

Some random observations from the Pitino presser:

• Louisville head coach Rick Pitino had a news conference this afternoon to let the world know that anyone who listens to the news coverage of him is to blame for him putting his penis into another woman on the floor of an upscale Louisville restaurant.

• I'm really having trouble putting two-and-two together, but I think Pitino called the media together to give them a story about how they should not write a story on his story that he continues to put front and center. And that Ted Kennedy has passed away. And the FBI/US Attorney don't like basketball.
  

• It didn't take a genius to figure out once Rick Pitino came back to Kentucky to coach Louisville, it most likely wasn't going to end well. Especially when one of the parties couldn't control the use of his/her penis while in a restaurant.

• Pitino called Crackville's fans the best fans in the history of the world because they (the true fans) don't want to talk about him putting his penis into a strange woman while dining in a Louisville eatery. If that's the case, Big Blue Nation should receive a Nobel Peace Prize for their inability to want to talk about Coach Cal's past.

• I'm not going to lie. I had no idea about anything going on with the Pitino-penis-crazy eyes-restaurant-scandal until I saw Rick Pitino calling a press conference out of nowhere saying to stop covering his case. He then went on to say not to believe anything you see or hear about his case unless it comes from him. This just weeks after he admitted to having unprotected sex with a strange woman in a Louisville restaurant.

• If you are reading this right now, I'm going to need you to do one thing. Go to a mirror....look yourself in the eye(s)......and apologize for allowing Rick Pitino to put his penis into another woman while dining out at a Louisville restaurant.

That is all. Carry on. And remember, you should be ashamed of yourself. And if you ever read or hear anything bad about the Big Blue Booyah, either don't read it or turn the channel.

WLEX