The Official Louisville Fan Checklist

1. Wake up. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Realize what a loser you are.

2. Grab red shirt, staright-billed cap, AK-47, 9mm, and menthol cigarettes.

3. See post-it note on door to not forget ammo.

4. Dodge bullets on your way out of front door.

5. Hotwire the nearest car in sight/carjack the nearest citizen in car.

6. Drive stolen, G'd-out 1984 Honda Accord to liquor store.

7. Rob liquor store for $27.83.

8. Realize stolen car is our of gas.

9. Find nearest gas station.

10. Put $3.83 of gas into stolen ride.

11. Rob gas station for $16.22, making grand total of two robberies $40.22 (after gas).

12. Go back into robbed gas station and buy $13.00 worth of breakfast (potato chips, slushie, candy)

13. Take I-64 west towards Indiana.

14. Friends/OG's from this site call to ask where you are.

15. Finally make way toward Lexington for rivalry game.

16. Arrive at Commonwealth Stadium.

17. Drink two 40's of Olde English. Pour some out for friends who may or may not have survived previous night of violence.

18. Watch team get blasted off the field by the Big Blue.

19. Fire shots into the air after game to signify how worthless your football team is.

20. Try to convince Kentucky fans that your basketball coach is more motivated than ever, because he had sex with a crazy woman on the floor of a Louisville restaurant.

21. Dodge bullets on way back home.

22. Get arrested for carjacking and robberies.

23. Repeat.

It's football time in the Bluegrass ladies and gents. Go Cats.